Breaking Negative Patterns In Relationships

This is a beautiful insight into breaking negative patterns in our intimate relationships…

While conflicts are a normal part of relationships, the WAY we handle them defines the health of our relationships. We tend to get stuck in negative patterns. These can be very hard to break. Over time, they can cause lasting damage to our relationships with the people we love. Here are two things that can really harm a relationship… 

#1. Negative Sentiment Override

This happens when you find yourself in such a negative state, that even a neutral comment made by the partner feels negative. This is when you take everything personally. Hence, your relationship gets stuck in an attack-defend cycle. Criticism, hurt, withdrawal, contempt, guilt all seep into the relationship. This is when there is a huge escalation of negativity, sometimes to the point of no return. 

#2. Negative Attribution 

This is when you tend to minimize your own errors or faults, attributing them to the situation, but maximize the faults of your partner attributing them to LASTING negative personality traits or character flaw of the other person. This is a position of ‘I am okay, you are NOT okay’. We get highly critical and begin to only see the things we don’t like about a person, rather than what is good about them.

This is when you get stuck in the cycle of judging and labeling. Slowly resentment creeps in. 

Resentment is when we want people to be in a certain way, and they are not the way we want them to be. We hold in all this anger and resentment in our hearts. It’s almost like, our energy gets stuck.

Luck, chance, or finding the perfect partner don’t create healthy and happy relationships. Rather they are consciously built, block by block, especially in the difficult moments of life. They are built by breaking these negative patterns, restoring the flow of positive energy and releasing all these negative sentiments. There is so much release in knowing that we are doing the best we can at every point in time. That we are learning, and we are growing.

How is the health and quality of your intimate relationships? How would it be if you could just drop the criticism and judgment for today, and relate from a different space within? And so today, let it all go and restore the flow back in your life and in your relationships. 

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